Battling My Demons

dagoverdenkingIts been awhile since I sat down blogged. I am still battling by Demons. They had me on the ropes, However as I told my friend Rev.Nick.  I am still on my feet standing tall and will not give in. Why? Philippians 4:13 KJV – I can do all things through Christ which strengthens  me.

A part of me really wanted to give in. To return to old ways. Before I found Christ. My demons fed me excuses as to why I should have a drink after nearly two years of sobriety. Why it was okay to consider betraying my wife. Why should I not do what I want to do.

I took the issue to God! and I quickly realized with the help of the Holy Spirit that I “WAS” doing what I wanted. The messages can pouring in through scripture. I wanted to stay sober, I wanted to stay faithful to my wife and loyal to my savior.

My life since I decided to follow the teachings of Christ has not been obstacle free, but over all my life has become so much better in so many  ways.

My demons have been beaten back (for now). I know they are regrouping for their next attack. I say bring it I am ready. I feel the Holy Spirit here with me, and the bible to help guide me in my  spiritual battle. I can not lose.





Demons “ARE” Real

monkimageTo day I was finally baptised. Today I also learned to understand the true meaning of spiritual warfare.

I awoke this morning feeling energized and exited for my big day. I was looking forward to being baptised in front of the congregation and guest.

Shortly after taking my seat in the pew I started to feel angry and aggravated by every little sound, I became extremely impatient. Suddenly I under stood the term. Their was a war going on in my mind something was telling me to get up and leave. It was not a case of nerves because I am accustomed to public speaking. I started thinking with extreme profanity and hatred! It was a vile intrusion into my very soul.

There was no way I was going to let evil rob me of the joy from my profession of faith and baptism. So right then end there I began to pray. I prayed for the evil to be removed from heart and mind. I prayed for the holy spirit to fill me,  leaving no room for anything but the glory of my savior.

Just as fast as the battle began, the battle was over. I was filled with a great inner peace and the happy excitement returned. I immediately thanked the Lord for answering  my prayer. The demon was vanquished and I now continue on my walk with Christ.



Date set For my baptism

DUyHPVzVoAAdYH-My pastor called me today to set a date for my up coming baptism. I am very  excited as well a very stressed.  I have never even been to a  baptism and have no idea what to expect. The last thing I want to do on the biggest day of my life to look silly.

I have no problem professing my faith in Jesus  publicly, and have done so many times, but unceremoniously. So I ask myself why am I so nervous.  I have no answer.

Maybe I’m asking the wrong person?  I see a lot more prayer and meditation in the near future.



Baptized at 50


As my baptism date quickly approaches I find myself  becoming more and more anxious. I have never attended a baptism and have no idea what to expect at my church. What I do know is, I am ready and determined to take the next step in my spiritual journey.

Since I have come to Christ I have felt a new sense of peace and have learned the meaning of serenity.  There is no words to express the feeling I get when I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. I now know what it means to step out of the darkness and into the light.

To my savior Jesus Christ  I will always be beholden.





I received an email this morning from the long term care facility where I frequently volunteer. The subject was typed in bold capital letters “OUTBREAK”!

What this means to me is that I won’t be allowed to visit for at least 10 days. I immediately felt my heart drop.

Being disabled myself.  I look forward to spending time the residence there.  I enjoy being part of the 2 religious services every week and visiting the residence that don’t have many visitors.

Selfishly I must admit that being there for the residence, and seeing their faces light up when I walk in, is the only time I really feel useful anymore.  Of course I pray for the quick recovery of the ill and hope they are coping well. But with out them I feel a giant emptiness inside.

I believe that the Lord brought me to them at a very low part of my life so that they could help me to help them.  If that makes any sense.

They make me feel good about myself as I make them feel good about them selves. This alone shows the Holy Spirit at work in our lives and I am extremely grateful.                        God surely is merciful even to those of us who don’t deserve his mercy.

Thanks for reading                                                                                                                                    J.

Impromptu Sermon


I walked into the local long term care facility this afternoon to help move the residence to a church service. Little did I know that I would be the one delivering the sermon. It seems the scheduled Reverend called in sick and there go to preacher was also not available.

The activities leader was in a panic and came running up to me when I walked through the door. When she told me that she needed me to deliver the message I couldn’t say no.

I was totally unprepared and a little anxious myself. Luckily I was reading  2 Samuel just before leaving for the service.

So I told the story of how Saul tried to kill David and relentlessly hunted him down. I told them that Saul had unknowing entered the cave where David and his men were hiding. Instead of killing Saul and ending ending Davids run as a fugitive. David showed him mercy and spared his life.

I them told them the advantages mercy held over anger, and how hatred only harms ourselves.  That if we cut one another a break now and then and tried to lift each other up the feelings of well being would spread like wild fire.

This was only my second sermon I ever delivered and fortunately I received very good reviews.  I just spoke from my heart and about things I have learned through studying the word.  Im sure I had been given a little help from the Holy Spirit as well.

Glory be to God.                                                                                                                                                J.


Missing my happy Space


Before I moved up to farm country, there was a place that I would go to either just relax or to just be alone with my deepest thoughts.

It was at the bottom of a wooded valley with a slow moving stream at its base. It was a place I could go and sit with little chance of being disturbed. This scenic and serene place was where I made some of my biggest life decisions.

Sometimes. when I came out of  deep thought I would find myself eye to eye with a curious white tailed deer or at other times surrounded by colorful  birds. They seemed to know instinctively that I was not a threat.

Now this place is far from home.  However I sometimes find that my mind will take me back to this lush valley, when I have something that’stroubling me.

In my mind I am there. I can see the sights, hear sounds and even smell the scent of the near by flowers.

In my happy space everything becomes manageable.